Eye's words, you, and see

Month

January 2012

22 posts

From chest to wrestling to thanks

Perhaps my chest is filled with muscles and perhaps it is filled with fat and bones, too, but the only thing that I can fill it with is air and I am the only one who can do that. (of course this is not entirely true, but it’s true enough to be said by me) ;D

Liking this piece of air I’m breathing and I wish people love breathing air, too. Wrestling makes it different for me. Actually, I’d like to describe that. Sometimes after practice, I’m breathing really hard and the breaths I take feel like the water I drink to quench a great thirst. It’s pretty amazing and I love that wrestling makes me feel this way because it always reminds me how valuable air is.

Tumblr is full of pretty cool pictures. Thanks to the people I follow. :) 

Jan 30, 2012
Jan 29, 20122,883 notes

Freshman, Sophomore, Junior, Senior

If I live a hundred years and categorize my life in this fashion, then I’d be a freshman till I’m 25, and despite being a senior in high school right now I’m actually fond of this idea. I still feel like I’m a freshman somehow.

Jan 29, 2012
The usual

I think I feel tired daily because I don’t eat enough Calories. Hmm, I hope that’s the case. I’ll just eat more and exercise some more, then I’ll have more time to do other things. :) Maybe sleep later during the night. *yawnn. I’m feeling it already. Oo, econ. seems interesting already, although the vocabulary seems mundane. Yep. Lotsa things seem interesting. 

Jan 26, 2012

“I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn’t be our style. Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory… lasts forever.”   The Replacements

Jan 23, 20121 note
Some quotes I jotted down sporadically

“The greatest tragedy in mankind’s entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion”   Arthur C. Clarke

“Just because someone likes the same bizarre crap that you do, doesn’t make them your soul mate.”

“I don’t feel comfortable being anyone’s anything.” 

Both from 500 Days of Summer 

Jan 23, 2012

By the way, I love “The Glass of Milk”

Jan 21, 20123 notes
This just kills me whenever I read it

“Diary for October 27, 1952
Property of Theodore McArdle
412 A Deck

Appropriate and pleasant reward if finder promptly returns to Theodore McArdle.”   J.D. Salinger

Bahahaha.

Well, I’ve been wanting to share stuff for a while, but I don’t know what I want to share. Emotions? Thoughts? I’m not consciously sure, so I’ll just throw a bunch of stuff out there and I’ll start with this:

Diary for January 21, 2012
Property of Benson Thai
House study room

And well, this can’t be returned. Not really.

Recently, I participated in a wrestling tournament. It’s the West Covina Tourney with like 50 teams—Jeez I need music to write.

Well, I got a song going. Alright, let’s get this thing started again. So, yesterday night, of the 50 teams and twenty or so schools that attended the tournament, the Gabrielino wrestling team was briefly in the running for third place for team scores. We stayed in the top ten teams with the most team points till the end, but we didn’t win a trophy or anything. It was so beautifully nice. Pin, Pin, pin, pin after pin. Cheer after cheer and stare after stare, we watched our teammates head onto the mats from the top of the bleachers, walking down like majestic beings who really didn’t look all that majestic. Parents of our fellow wrestlers joined us and cheered along with us. I think, for the most part, they were our greatest inspiration for cheering so much. It was a delight to have parents and wrestlers alike around, and I honestly love our corner. *insert smile

And yesterday was pretty awesome, besides the cheering and fan stuff. I wrestled like a beast and got beaten by a real swell guy. All in a day’s work and whatever I meant by that. Anyways, I’d like to share my favorite part of one of my matches yesterday. During my last match, which was important for reaching the second day of the tournament, I wrestled a rather tall guy from Burrough High School. During our match, while I attacked him and poured my offense into the match, I heard his coach advising him, literally saying, “Watch out for him. He’s dangerous in neutral.” Now, for those who don’t know anything about amateur wrestling, neutral is the standard starting position that all wrestlers must work off of to begin a match. It’s supposed to be technically the most fair position to begin with. I guess you can call this an ego boost, which I think it is. Haha. However, I think one day, I’ll forget this, but for now, I won’t forget how it makes me gleam with pride.

So, my diary’s become a sort of story time. If you read this, well, thanks—i.e., for listening. I hoped more to just throw things out and be done with it, but I explained a lot for the benefit of listeners. Thanks.

Jan 21, 2012

I’m actually happy I’m going to practice tomorrow. :)
I’m so excited for track, too. I want to work hard this year and do some crazy jumps.

Cuz its gonna be so damn fun. 

Jan 16, 2012

1 year in the brewing.
1 year in the fridge.
1 year exploding.
and it’s all fine. :)

If i knew it was gonna happen, I wouldn’t have done it.
Actually, there are more important thoughts in life.
regret

Jan 15, 2012
Rift Where Passion Dulls

I’m at the rift where passion dulls.
My hate subsides and I feel calmer in mind.
I thought that I had incurred a debt of hate,
but there was only so much of such a touchy taste.

A few words did wonders
and its not that I am so easily taken.
Its just that the filled rift between two parts of mind
connected the vast past to the continuing present time.

A few words binded love to hate
and formed a ring that mutually sates.
Somehow my past love is neutralizing my present hate,
as the result of a few words that cleared the haze.
___________

I’m at the rift where passion dulls.
My love subsides and I feel calmer in mind.
I thought that I had incurred a debt of love,
but there was only so much of such a touchy taste.

A few words did wonders
and its not that I am so easily taken.
Its just that the filled rift between two parts of mind
connected the vast past to the continuing present time.

A few words binded hate to love
and formed a ring that mutually sates.
Somehow my present hate is neutralizing my past love
as the result of a few words that cleared the haze.

Jan 14, 20121 note

That goddamned fresh ankle. And that’s enough.

Jan 12, 2012

Life is a hyperbolic time chamber. We can train all we want. We’ve got the time.

Jan 12, 2012
Well-o-hate

Oh so profound hate for this man.
So young and naive the passion is bland.
It’s like a well that seeps deeper and deeper
and at the bottom it gets meaner and meaner.
One quick choice of the two
and comes along a million to choose.
This quick and dirty path, I will pick
in spite of all the evidence that don’t make me sick,
for I am selfish, young, and have eyes horribly fixed. 

Jan 11, 2012
Writing doodle

Bath on fire
not my precious bath!
where will i put my attire?
ah crap
this’ll rhyme
and die at the same time.
What the hell, my bath’s on fire.
Crap, what am i gonna do about being dirty and tired?
crap, it’s already dying
i mean, whatever i’m trying.
i guess i’ll ditch it
but now that I’ve told you, i know i still haven’t.
Crap. My bath’s on fire.
What the hell.

Jan 11, 2012
Snow Pain

And snow drools with pain
when pain had already been obtained.
It stacks on higher like gathering lottery numbers,
and sits fat on the earth as a mutual cumber.
Then it melts and goes away.
It floats and floats and might come back another day.

Jan 11, 2012
Lightning Band

A band of lightning
that predicts the strikes
wraps around the arm,
brightening in the night.

The darker it gets,
the brighter it glows.
The more we forget,
the more we’ll always know.

In the night, it lights up our eyes.
With thoughts we stare at it straightforward and blind,
thinking, “what is this doing on our arm?”
Suppose it was the greed of a charm.
It was something bright that we just wanted to be ours. 

Jan 8, 2012
Hair of Fire

Searing flame overhead,
Churning noodles causing deep, heavy breaths.
Feet and movements never stop,
Flame and burning never drop.

Red, meaning go,
No one ever knows.
All that come,
All shall show.

More and more with grace and charity
None who need can truly bring clarity.

Jan 8, 2012
Shiawase-I just want to point this out...

Because Clannad has made me feel so grateful and these bolded words now feel more powerful than ever.

Dedicated to David Vuong

“So, after all I’ve written, I remember the first games that I ever received. One birthday—and now that I think about it, it’s probably my most favorite birthday ever—my aunt bought me a green gameboy color with a Powerpuff Girl game. My uncle bought me a Nintendo 64 and the Mickey Speedway USA game. It’s probably my favorite birthday for three reasons. 1, my uncle and aunt cared enough to think about what I wanted; 2, because my whole family surrounded me as I opened these gifts; 3, because I probably had the biggest grin in my life as I finished ripping the wrapping paper apart.”

I’m so grateful right now towards my dai kazoku (which includes my friends), and maybe that’s what I lacked before, a sense of keen gratefulness. Somehow, along the way, I lost my sense of gratefulness, and it might have been when I learned to stop crying. Now that I think about it, the only reason that I ever cried as a kid was so that my feelings would be let out, but there was also something else much more subtle that I never exactly noticed before. When I cried, it didn’t help to just cry and let loose my torrenting tears; I only ever felt better after talking to someone and venting about what happened afterwards. As a result, I would be very grateful to the person. I think that I forgot about that. (I never really reflected about this) So, now that I’ve grown up and have stopped crying, people no longer come up to me and ask me what’s wrong. I guess I sort of have to reach out now, because I’m really passive and bad at signals. And I also sort of guess that telling kids not to cry is not exactly a good thing. I think that crying’s a simple and honest call for help and, if that is taken away from children, then children who’ve grown up to be adults just get more complicated and indirect. I mean, it’s one thing to teach a kid not to cry because he’s whining or just plain complaining, but if you just plainly tell him to grow up and be a man, then he’ll grow up to be one, but he’ll be one with a buried heart.

Dango, dango, dango, dango, dango dai kazoku

…itsumo…shiawase… 

Jan 3, 20122 notes
Games

So, I’m dedicating this to Elwin Tran and am posting it up because of him, because he suggested I write about something happy.

  As a child, I always loved playing games. Thinking back now, I can’t even remember what was the first video game that I ever played. Some of my earliest memories of video games were from school. I used to trade my gameboy color game cartridges to friends at school, because my parents wouldn’t buy me video games. (I had horrible grades as a kid, so I would never deserve any new games) Anyway, I can’t remember what I traded but I do remember getting Megaman Xtreme and some Tarzan game in return. They were great! Also, as a child, I was the worst gamer ever. I never understood why I sucked at games so much, but I loved games anyway. Megaman was a gaming icon taht lived through my childhood and well into my teen years. I remember once, when I was in Canada, I link-cabled my gameboy advance with my elder cousin’s so that we could battle each other. It was so fun even though every time we battled, I could never beat him. Now, this game, a gameboy advance system game, was, I believe, the first ever gameboy advance game that my parents ever bought me. I think I even chose it myself. But when I first go the game, I was extremely annoyed by it, because I couldn’t understand how to play the game. I think, within the first week, I went over to my eldest guy cousin’s home, next-door, and asked him to play the game for me. After watching him play the game, I sort of felt that the game was probably enjoyable, because he continued to play the game for an hour or two. Also, because the game seemed enjoyable, I tried playing the game again. This Megaman game, though, was really frustrating, so I ended up taking much longer than a year to beat it. Anyways, I’m digressing and I’ll continue to do so. One summer, I believe, during summer school, I left my clear colored gameboy advance being a school pillar and, after minutes of searching, I never saw it again. It was very sad.

After the gameboy advance, the gameboy sp was released. It was the most amazing thing ever, because this portable system had a back light. My parents never bought me this game console, but being the passionate gamer that I was, I went and grabbed my forbidden Snoopy bank and took money out to buy the system at San Gabriel Supermarket. (By this time, my grades had improved, but I was still, in my mother’s eyes, a naughty kid at school. And I sort of was) After my sneaking around every time my parents went to the superstore to buy groceries, I had accumulated many games. I bought, with my Snoopy money, 3 Fire Emblems, Megaman and Bass, Metroid, and many other games that I cannot remember. (I bought multiple Fire Emblems so that my friends could play with me) Never before had I ever felt this much freedom in obtaining games. It was some pretty damn shady business, though, because I wasn’t trusted with money and I was sort of small. (sort of) Every time my mother asked me where I got the system, I’d tell her that I borrowed it from a friend. It was actually true, though, at first. But when I returned my friend’s system, I sort of made it into a lie. I finally confessed, though, and I really can’t remember why. But I do remember that one time, when my father offered to buy me a game, I felt sort of bad. I accepted his offer anyway, though, and bought the new Fire Emblem game.

After the gameboy sp, my parents did buy me a new system. They got me the new ds and I did love it, once, till I grew a little older and bought a ds lite from my friend. after this, I bought on more system on my own, the psp; however, by this time, I was more in control of my own money and it wasn’t as sneaky a business. Also, after a while, I learned how to hack my own game systems and downloaded games online. As a result, I never needed to buy games again. But then this didn’t stop me from buying games, either. I just really loved having them be mine.

So, after all I’ve written, I remember the first games that I ever received. One birthday—and now that I think about it, it’s probably my most favorite birthday ever—my aunt bought me a green gameboy color with a Powerpuff Girl game. My uncle bought me a Nintendo 64 and the Mickey Speedway USA game. It’s probably my favorite birthday for three reasons. 1, my uncle and aunt cared enough to think about what I wanted; 2, because my whole family surrounded me as I opened these gifts; 3, because I probably had the biggest grin in my life as I finished ripping the wrapping paper apart.

Jan 2, 20121 note
Monochrome Rainbow

Translated lyrics of the song Monochrome Rainbow(Bakuman 2 ED)

In this world, every day is dull and full of nonsense
I cover my ears, trying to mute the noise
Why do people hurt each other?
Can you hear my heartbeat
Baby, I trust you, my friend
In the contradictory, overlapping shadows
On the recesses of my heart, fallen into despair
while carrying this pain in my chest
can i really dream of tomorrow?
Remembering the rainbow found after the rain,
I close my eyes, come fly with me into my dream
I have you, who shines so strong
I can envision an everlasting rainbow
and even remember the moonlight of the night we met
I can picture them… countless times
over and over again…

Jan 1, 2012
During a new years party

“And it was now time for me to venture out again, to discover once more who I was and who I could be…”

  Peter Jenkins

Jan 1, 2012
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